Couples Therapy that makes a difference in Portland and across the state of Oregon
Specialized support utilizing three couples therapy modalities and counting
Telehealth therapy for the state of Oregon
Couples Therapy with Demir Crone
You are in the right place if you can’t make heads or tails of your relationship, and no matter what you do nothing seems to be landing right with your partner. You both get in the same fights over and over again, or maybe you have stopped fighting entirely and the silent gulf is louder than the fights ever were.
Maybe you are the pursuer, or the distancer. Maybe you tend to be the island wondering why your partner keeps jerking you out of your perfectly good alone time. Maybe you tend to be the wave wondering why your partner doesn’t come to you more often or fight for the relationship as hard as you think you do. Maybe the sex isn’t the same as it used to be, or isn’t happening at all, or they want it but you don’t.
I’ve seen so many ways that couples (and triads) have shown up in my therapy room, and I can tell you this: where there is a will there is a way. If you are ready to fight for this relationship, or to see if it is worth fighting for, then I am here to give it my all right alongside you two (or more).
Couples therapy can’t be cookie cutter therapy because you aren’t the same as everyone else. And a therapist with only one tool won’t get you where you want to go, unless you’re feeling lucky.
I bring in several different couples therapy theories because I believe in collaborating with my couples and meeting you where you are at with the approaches that are getting us the results you are looking for.
So what are my modalities?
I bring in ISTDP (Intensive Short Term Psychodynamic) informed couples therapy, which breaks down in detail what the cycle of conflict is between you two and zeroes in on exactly the skills to build connection back while honoring your free agency and honest truth.
I use PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy), a multimodal approach in itself. PACT is all about secure functioning. Are you a team? Are you in each other’s care? Do you have each other’s back? Do you have clear shared values, shared purpose, shared agreements, shared policies so you can be on the same page rather than have the same fights every week?
I love the Developmental Model as well. Here, we build the skills of mutual understanding while honoring that you are two different humans and two different minds. We build detailed skills while offering a framework for conflict resolution and rupture and repair.
The above are my main go to’s, and then sometimes Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy or AEDP Couples Therapy is called for as well.
I prize being open minded and flexible with my couples while remaining a fearless advocate for your goals and where you want to go. And believe me, couple therapy can be quite activating, so having someone keeping you both moving towards your north star is key!